part 1~The Day I Found the "Lump"...

As everyone knows (or should know by now) October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So I thought I would take a trip down memory lane (what I remember of it anyway) and tell my story. It won't be told all at once, its just too hard emotionally to relive it all at once. So here it goes. The beginning:

One morning in October of 2005, I was getting ready to go to work, the normal routine every morning. I lathered up and started the cleaning process. When I went to clean my left boob, I noticed there was a hard bump. And it felt BIG to me. Now I didn't remember it being there the day before (you know it had to be, but how could I have MISSED that!)! But I didn't think to much at that point (maybe I was getting ready to start or any number of things), just that I better call the doc and see what he thought. I finished my morning routine, went to work, called the doc and of course he wanted to see me. That day. So I went in, he did his exam and sent me right over for a mammogram. When those results came back, he sent me to a surgeons to see what he thought about removing it. (Let me just slip in here that my surgeon looked an awful lot like Al Pacino!!) We decided that it did need to be removed, so a date was scheduled for the following week. Have I mentioned yet just how scared I truly was? I was scared spitless. So I made the arrangements, scheduled the time off work, and went in to have the operation. It was going to be a quick removal (we still thought it would be benign) with me going home the same day.
I will always remember the look on the surgeons face when he walked into my hospital room after surgery that day. The test results weren't back yet, but he was almost positive it was cancer. I knew 24 hours later. At the ripe old age of 36, I had a fast growing cancer. What would happen to my babies if I died? Their dad could barely take care of himself, let alone raise my kids the way I wanted them to be raised. Both my parents & step parents had already passed, I sure didn't want one of my sibling raising my kids.
So another surgery was scheduled to remove some lymph nodes to see if it had spread...IT HADN'T!! Yay! I did catch it in time. Appointments were made with an Oncologist, treatment was decided on, the decision to have a "port" put in for the chemo was made and the appointment scheduled to have that surgically installed (yep back to Al Pacino!!). Everything is ready to go! By this time, it's almost Thanksgiving and we had ALOT to be thankful for that year.
I was asked once why I chose to have the port inserted. Let me tell you, when you find out your going to have a needle stuck in you for over a year and a half, a port is a Godsend! For those that don't know what a port is: It is a thing that they surgically insert into your artery so the nurses do not have to poke you with a needle in a new veins each and everytime you go for chemo. Mine was inserted in the upper right side of my chest above my book. It stays in the same spot, it's just a little bump under your skin. It can stay there forever if need be.

Well that's all for now, I need to get to work!